Stop Fat Talk

Have many times have you heard a friend say: "I'm so fat." or "Do I look fat in this?" (Or how many times have you said that about yourself to someone else?)

How about:

Friend 1: "I'm so fat."

Friend 2: "No you're not, I am."

Friend 1: "You are NOT fat. But look at me, I mean my thighs are HUGE."

Friend 2: "Are you kidding me? Your legs are like sticks! Look at my stomach. Ugh, gross."

And so on and so forth...

Sound familiar?

This video was made four years ago for an event called "Fat Talk Free Week." It's pretty powerful. Take a moment to watch it.

Many women think fat talk is helpful because they see that their friends suffer from the same problem. But in reality, woman who complain about their bodies are actually more unsatisfied with their appearance. Support and empathy from friends is important and even healthy. Commiserating about body image is not. Fat talk tends to emphasize the ideal body image portrayed by the media and leads women to believe that hating one's body is normal.

This makes me so, so sad. I think it cuts really deep with me because it was a part of my life for about six years. Body image issues consumed me throughout high school and for a good portion of my first two years of college. I now realize that talking with my friends who shared my struggle was not beneficial; if anything, it continued to feed the struggle.

It honestly makes my insides hurt when I think about how controlling this struggle with body image has been for girls and women in today's society. One out of three women is on a diet at any given time. An estimated seven million women in America have an eating disorder. And 97% of women have negative body thoughts daily. That is an overwhelming percentage.

So I think that one of the ways we can help prevent eating disorders and obsession over dieting and weight, is to STOP fat talk. I have to start with myself. I will stop fat talk. And I will try to help my friends stop as well.

Let me just end by saying that the root of this struggle is sin. Our desire for people to find us attractive, our brokenness, our dissatisfaction. That is all sin. And I do not want to pretend that body image issues will be solved by simply eliminating certain words or phrases from our vocabulary. I know that the only true healing that anyone can receive is through Jesus. I know without a doubt that I would not be able to fight this battle without Christ. I pray that Christian women would recognize the grace of God and the life He has given us. Let us stop striving for the unattainable and start believing that the Lord looks at the heart.

I want people to see Christ in me. The way I look shouldn't matter. It's time I start believing that.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (ESV).

I've been learning a lot about these verses lately, especially about giving thanks "in all circumstances." It's not like something terrible has happened in my life and I need to start learning about giving thanks even when it seems impossible. I'm learning more about being thankful because thankfulness results in deep, genuine joy. I want that joy! Giving thanks in the everyday, mundane tasks will allow me to find joy in my seemingly ordinary life.

Also, each piece from these verses work together. If you are constantly praying, you are able to give thanks and find joy. I cannot find true joy in anything but the Lord, so what better way to find that joy than through prayer and thanksgiving!

"The discipline of thanks only comes with practice." -Ann Voskamp

Another thing I've been learning is about being fully alive. It's one thing to be physically in a place; it's another to be fully there and fully attentive. And I can choose to be fully attentive. I want to do that; I want to be fully present everywhere I am in order to give glory to God and be able to serve others.

I want to pray continually - without ceasing - that Thy will be done. Not my will. His. I must trust in His plan for my life because it is perfect. And that trust will lead to joy!

The Lord has blessed me with so much and I want to become the blessing to others now.

"Passionately serving Christ alone makes us the loving servant to all." -Ann Voskamp

Talented Siblings

I am so incredibly proud of my siblings.

My brother, James, just performed in his last piano recital on Sunday and he did a phenomenal job. Seriously, I'm convinced he didn't make a single mistake (although he insisted that he was not perfect). He played technically well, but his pieces were also full of emotion, especially his Chopin Prelude. James has a lot of natural talent when it comes to music. He is stopping piano lessons in order to take up bass guitar lessons which I know he will absolutely love. He also has a great voice. He's really modest about it and probably would never sing for you by himself, but he really does have a gift. We just found out that he will be a part of the advanced mixed choir in school this coming year! It's very impressive because sophomores are not typically put into this choir. I am super excited for him and his upcoming musical endeavors.

Katie, my sister, graduated from high school today. Holy cow. I cannot believe it. Sometimes I feel like I just graduated -- but that was two years ago! She did a stellar job in school this year, earning above a 4.0 GPA. And let me tell you, I did not get a 4.0 my senior year...or at any point in my high school career...or ever. She didn't just shine academically though; she was one of the captains of her high school lacrosse team and was the second highest scorer on the team. Katie is extremely driven, especially when it comes to sports. She will be playing lacrosse for West Chester University in the fall and I cannot wait to see how her hard work will pay off there! She was also in a Music and Computer Technology (MCT) class this year where she learned a lot about composing music. She put hours and hours of time into this class and has grown immensely as a musician. Her performances never fail to blow me away and move me to tears. She puts her heart into her music and it shows.

I love my brother and sister more than they know and I am so thankful for them.

LOVE.

Summer Reading List

1. Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges

2. Radical by David Platt

3. A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller

4. Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney

5. Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung

6. More Than A Carpenter by Josh McDowell

7. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

8. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

9. Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper

in · san · i · ty

The word "insanity" is defined as, "the state of being seriously mentally ill; madness."

Let me tell you, I must have been in a mentally ill state when I decided to start INSANITY.

Insanity:

"Insanity is a workout regimen similar to P90X in that it claims to improve fitness in 60 days through strenuous stamina training. Developed by Shaun T., Insanity's advertising emphasizes "max interval training", a method of exercising during which one works out strenuously for 3-4 minutes and then rests or "cools down" for approximately 30 seconds before starting the whole process over again. This is essentially a reversal of traditional interval training, during which participants exercise mildly for 3-4 minutes and then exercise strenuously for 30 seconds."

I decided to do this workout program for a number of reasons:

1) To get in shape. Plain and simple, I'm really out of shape.

2) It provides routine. I tend to start working out pretty well for a couple weeks and then I just stop. A workout program motivates me to be exercising every day.

3) It will challenge me. I also tend to do what's easy for me when I workout. I'll run for a little bit, but not too long and not too fast. And when I lift weights I often avoid that parts of my body that are weak.

4) To feel better about my body.

5) Part of me is doing this just because I want to be able to say that I got through it and did not give up. Maybe that's bad, but it's true.

I officially started yesterday. All I had to do yesterday was take the "Fit Test." First there was a warm-up (which pretty felt like a workout from the start). Then, there was a series of exercises that I did one at a time for one minute each. For instance, one of the exercises was called a "suicide jump" (lovely name, right?). You start by quickly bending down and getting into a push-up position and then getting up and jumping up. And you repeat that...over and over again for as many times as you can do in a minute. And there were eight exercises like these. There was a 30 second break between each exercise. It was honestly SO HARD. I am incredibly out of shape and I must say, I felt like I was dying to some degree. And when the workout was over, I sweating like mad and I wanted to throw up. Now granted I haven't worked out since the end of April. (Nice, I know.) But all the same, it was hard. And even if I had been in shape it would have been hard because you have push yourself to your limit. I will take the fit test several more times through the 60-day program to see how my results improve as I get faster and stronger.

Today was Day 2. Today's DVD was "Plyometric Cardio Circuit." Holy cow. So tiring. I had to rest a LOT and I could not keep up with it, but I know I will improve with time.

The name of this workout program is a perfect description of it because it truly is insane. And maybe I am insane because as tough as it is, I cannot wait to continue with it and challenge my body in ways that I could not do on my own.

Tomorrow's workout is called "Cardio Power & Resistance." Should be a fun time. HA.

I'm also excited to be challenged in other insane ways this summer through my job, through the Word, and through relationships. I can't wait to share some of those things as well.

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." -Colossians 2:17

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/how-to-thrive-in-college

I have a good Shepherd

I've been home for a week now and I'd like to start blogging on a weekly basis, if not more than that. I am going through the book of John in my own quiet time and I am in love with this gospel.


I'd like to write a little bit about what I've been learning most recently. John 10 is now one of my favorite passages. It is so beautiful. In particular, John 10:1-21 is what I have been unpacking and learning more about. I listened to two sermons by John Piper on this passage - one that was on the whole passage (listen here) and another on verses 11-18, focusing on verse 16 (listen here).


I strongly encourage you to read John 10!


One of the things that Piper said was, "It all comes down to blaspheme or worship; you can't sit on the fence." That stuck out to me because I often think I can sit on the fence. I may intellectually understand something and say I believe it, but if I'm not worshiping the Lord for what He has done for me, I'm essentially a blasphemer. Because he deserves nothing less than worship. I need to do more than just follow him; I must worship Him. 


The first thing Jesus does is He gives the Pharisees an analogy. Verse 6 calls it a "figure of speech." It's crazy how Jesus uses stories and analogies to make things easier to understand. I think I sometimes elevate myself to a place above the Pharisees, laughing at the fact that they take things literally and continually fail to understand what Jesus is really trying to say. But in reality, before I was a believer I was a Pharisee. My view of Christianity was flawed because it was works based and I saw myself as better than other people. I failed to understand the true gospel, just as they do in this passage. It's super humbling. 


Then, Jesus says that He is the door. At first glance that seems a little strange. But He says this because eternal life is found in Him, if you enter by Him alone. And as believers, we receive a guarantee that because we are His sheep, we will be saved. I LOVE that. I sometimes struggle with assurance and wonder how I can know for SURE that I will go to Heaven. But it's right there in Scripture, clear as day! We will not be destroyed because we are saved for abundant life. Man that's so beautiful. 


One of my other favorite parts of this passage is verses 14 & 15: "I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep." He is my Shepherd. I don't know why I love that so much, but I think it's the meaning behind what a shepherd is and the role he play in the lives of his sheep. Without a shepherd, sheep have no one to tend for them and no one to protect them. They will die without a shepherd. Even a hired hand (like it says in verse 12) will FLEE if he sees a wolf coming. He does not care for the sheep at all. But a shepherd will do whatever it takes to protect his sheep. Also, when Jesus says, "I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father," he is saying that He is just as bound to His sheep as He is to His Father. That blows my mind. And then, he lays down his life for the sheep. What sacrificial love. Perfect love. It seriously makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I am so thankful for Jesus' death on the cross to save His sheep and give them abundant life. 

"For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father." Jesus is either insane or He is God. There is no other  explanation for those verses. 

John Piper made me ask myself "Am I a skeptic or am I desperate for Him?" 

I'm desperate for Him. 

I am excited to have time to blog once I am home for the summer.

In the meantime, listen to THIS. Eric Whitacre is my favorite composer and this piece is...well, flawless, really. It really is impossible to describe. 

I'll start blogging for real when I am home in 5 days :)

I'm not an organized person, but I like the idea of lists.

This morning I am thankful for:
-the sun
-an education (even when I don't want to go to class)
-my phone, which serves as my alarm clock
-teachers who love what they do
-enthusiastic classmates (because I am tired)
-the strength the Lord gives me

I stayed up in the lobby of my dorm until 3:30 last night editing my blog. Stupid. And then I couldn't find my keys and no one was awake, including my roommate, so I decided to sleep in the lobby. I fell asleep around 4 and woke up right before my 9:00 class. I'm wearing what I fell asleep in, have not brushed my teeth or hair, and I do not have any of my notebooks/binders.

It's really quite humorous.

I am thankful for the Lord and His sovereignty. I am finding strength and joy in Him.

How Deep the Father's Love

Okay, so I never actually started blogging. Oops. But I'm going to start now and hopefully be consistent with my posts. We'll see.

"How Deep the Father's Love"

Listen here.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

This is one of my all-time favorite songs. I don't think I fully grasp the depth of God's love. One of the most well-known bible verses is John 3:16. Honestly, I often recite this without thinking about what it really and truly means. It says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shoud not perish but have eternal life." How beautiful is that?! And this song talks about just that.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

God's love was SO deep that He sacrificed His one and only Son to make sinners, like me, righteous. Wow. One definition of wretch is "a person of despicable or base character." Rough. That basically means that we don't deserve anything good. And that's true. As a sinner, the only thing I deserve is Hell. That's what makes what God did so amazing. I did absolutely nothing to earn His favor. He sent Jesus to die because He loves us and He ultimately wanted His glory to be shown.

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

The word searing means, "marked by extreme intensity, harshness, or emotional power." I don't think that definition even begins to describe what Jesus' death was like. The Father could not even look at His Son because of the sin what was brought upon Him. My sin. He was wounded for my sins and I am saved because of that. "But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." -Isaiah 53:5

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

I normally break down sometime during the start of this verse. I am mocking God when I sin against Him. Before I was a believer, I was no better than those in the crowd of people who watched Him die on the cross. And as a believer now, I still sin and the only thing that makes me different from non-believers is that I have Jesus.

(I don't know if I'm making any sense at all...it's 1:45 am.)

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

My sin held Jesus on the cross. My sin. Wow, that is humbling. His death brought me life. "For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." -Hebrews 10:14 His death only had to happen once. In the Old Testament, priests had to offer numerous sacrifices, over and over, and they were still unable to take away sin. But Christ offered a SINGLE sacrifice for sin and then sat down at the right hand of God because it was finished. Once and for all. Amazing.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

The Bible says a lot about boasting. I don't have a right to boast about anything but Christ and what He did on the cross (Gal. 6:14). Even Paul who suffered greatly for the sake of the gospel said he would only boast of the things that showed his weakness (2 Cor. 11:30). Paul says that if we know the gospel, there's no way we can be boastful, so we must preach the gospel (1 Cor. 9:16)!

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I struggle to accept God's grace sometimes. I can't figure out why He would want to take away my sin and give me life when I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. So I think this part of the song expresses how my heart feels sometimes. I know I should gain nothing, but amazingly I am saved because of His sacrifice!

I feel like the English language is not sufficient. I cannot think of any words that would properly express how amazed I am at the depth of God's love. Father, thank you for sending your Son to live a perfect life and die as the perfect sacrifice to fulfill your plan and die for my sin. Thank you for the gift of eternal life; salvation. I want to live to bring You praise because of what You have done for me!


His grace really is amazing.